Red Flags In A Marriage
Falling in love is a wonderful feeling, even more when the feeling is reciprocated by the person who gives you butterflies in your stomach. The sweet beginnings of a new couple, complete with fluffy dates and romantic nights! But sadly, the honeymoon phase of a relationship does not last forever. Quirks people used to find cute about their partner could turn annoying. Behaviours they found sweet and protective may finally rear their ugly head as something else. Relationships between people are often complicated enough, more so as a couple. Therefore, it is important to identify red flags before a relationship but sometimes people are blinded by rose-tinted glasses and believe otherwise. Fear not, for it is never too late to spot them during a relationship or even after marriage!
Most couples tend to gleefully announce their newfound relationships on social media. Facebook even helps with generating the post after the couples change their relationship statuses on profiles. Some may prefer to wait a while longer while their relationship stabilizes further before the big reveal. Regardless of when, the occasion will always be celebrated by family and friends flooding the post with words of congratulations. It is not necessarily a step all couples should take but if either party does not mention their partner even to friends and family after a few months, it should be viewed as a red flag. Even worse if one is still questioning their relationship status after a long period and the other refuses to give a definite answer. Relationships in general shouldn’t be kept a secret as it will only open doors to suspicion. At this point one may wish to figure out if they are in a romantic relationship or just friends with benefits. a sign of lack of commitment or they are already romantically involved with another person.
This leads to another point. Does the couple’s idea of fidelity align? A certain percentage of partners may think it’s alright to have a physical relationship with another person and not consider it cheating because they have no feelings towards them and vice versa. If a partner has a history of infidelity, it is considered a red flag. If they have cheated on their previous partner with their current one, there is a high chance they may repeat it. Nevertheless, there may be situations where it may not hold true. As a couple, one will need to trust their partner. If the partner has not shown signs of cheating before, they should not be regarded with distrust when interacting with others. Harbouring unreasonable feelings of jealousy and doubt is a relationship killer so prepare to run before it starts reaching the point where one has to isolate from friends and family just to keep their partner happy. Leave even faster when they start demanding passwords to private accounts, attempt to scan your messages and so on. People in this situation should take note if they are being gaslighted to stay or submit in this relationship. Examples of gaslighting are “You’re too sensitive!”, “You think too much”, “I didn’t say that earlier, you’re imagining things” and so on. Basically, phrases that make one begin to doubt themselves. In the long run it can wear down a person’s confidence and deteriorate their mental state. It is also a bad sign when they have a string of “crazy exes.” If there are persistent rumours about the said partner, one should do a bit of investigation to reconfirm if their partner was the root cause of problems or if the exes were crazy .
If there is ever a point where one’s partner uses violence against them, they should most likely abandon ship right away. Abuse will only escalate after repeated forgiveness. It also shows that the person may have anger issues or has problems regulating their emotions. It is not a partner’s job to “fix” their loved one in a relationship. The issue cannot be resolved by other people unless they wish for it to be gone themselves. This does not only include physical violence but verbal and emotional as well such as degrading name-calling, making fun of their partner’s traits maliciously and continues to do so even after being told to stop, rolling their eyes at their partner etc. In a healthy relationship, partners come to accept one another and come to a compromise over things that can’t be agreed on. Issues are well communicated instead of sweeping it under the carpet or passive aggression etc. If the couple is unable to discuss problems clearly with one another after numerous attempts, it is most likely better to find someone else. Communication breakdown demonstrates incompatibility.
Overall, couples must not cover their eyes from potential red flags. In extreme cases, detecting them early may save lives. The goal of most relationships is to eventually build a life together. In ideal cases, couples are able to nurture one another into better people but don’t worry if one’s current relationship is unable to do that yet.Take the time to properly discover the other person first before making a move.
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