4 Things To Consider When Getting A Divorce In Malaysia
When you have to throw in the white towel, you just got to. Be it for the sake of the kids, your soon-to-be ex-spouse, or yourself. Divorces are now as common as marriages. How one person has married thrice has divorced twice. Unless we’re talking about adultery but that’s another story. With many people getting divorced, many reasons would follow. Some the same, some different. But, with every major step you take, there are major consequences. Here are to name a few:
Getting a divorce would be ten folds harder if you have kids. Put yourself in their shoes for a while. They wake up to a normal household with two parents and maybe a sibling or a pet, every single day. Suddenly, you take that away from your child by getting a divorce. You live separately now, one of you only sees your kid on the weekends. Public holidays are spent fetching your child from your family’s place to your ex’s.
#2 A Place to Stay
With a divorce comes living separately. You WILL need to consider where you and your children will stay whether you have a salary or not. Also, it is best if you put together a budget of your daily, weekly, monthly and annual expenses. This is to ensure you do not go overboard with your spending. Most importantly, it is to guarantee that your kids are always fed, utility bills and instalments are paid for.
If you are a spouse who’s not working, it is high time you consider a job. It is easier said than done but try to find one that does not take too much of your time away from the children. They are your utmost priority after all. With disregard to gender, ensure that you and your ex-spouse understand and agree to the financial commitments you both have once the divorce papers are filled.
#3 Getting Support
Getting a divorce isn’t easy. With the divorce in mind, the children, finding a job, and worrying about the bills, you could be at the lowest point of your life. But as they say, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Take time and get back up. Start talking to divorcees, not just for advice but for emotional support. They’ve been there and back and some will gladly help you go through it too.
If socializing is all too overwhelming, consider a therapist. They help immensely even just by lending an ear. Therapists are trained ‘people-handlers’. Not saying they know to say the things you want to hear but over time, experienced therapists can relate a past problem to your current one and who knows, maybe that will help you grow and heal through the process of a divorce. While we’re on the same note, be supportive of your children if they need to see a guidance counsellor in their school.
#4 Staying Single
Above all else, love yourself. Okay, don’t pay attention to this if you cheated, got a divorce, and are on your way to marrying that side chick/stud you’ve been hiding.
Depending on which part of the world you’re reading this from, a relationship outside your marriage, be it before/after/during the divorce can be used as leverage against you during court proceedings. Yup, that includes text messages, e-mails, someone lending you their card. You would want to stay clear of all these hiccups until after this process blows over.
Like I stated in point #3, the divorce process can get all too overwhelming. Begin again finding time for yourself and learn to prioritize your children as well. Because you’d be more committed to your children now that you’re single, it would be best not to devote yourself into a relationship as there would be complications like explaining to the kids and your family.
Getting a divorce is never easy. Heck, if you’re here I’d tell you to focus on fixing your marriage rather than ending it. But sometimes, two people are just not meant to be and we just have to accept it and move on. Hopefully, you won’t be needing these advices.
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